It’s easy and even fashionable to dislike the way church leadership commonly works (or works ineffectually) in Churches of Christ. Our churches are led by a board, as is the case in most American congregations across many denominations. In those situations, the board is often an elected group whose primary responsibility is the overall management of the church. They work in partnership with the senior minister or pastor to run the affairs of the church.

In Churches of Christ, however, our leadership boards are comprised of people called elders or shepherds, and they typically carry a double role. In their “board” function, they are supposed to care for the spiritual welfare of their congregants while also managing the congregation as a whole. This is an enormous task for unpaid individuals who are typically trained for various fields of commerce, education and science – not for church leadership.

In the small, rural, post-Civil-War churches whence our models emerged, this system functioned well enough. Churches were like extended families. They didn’t require complicated methods of management. Nor was it necessary to be familiar with the diverse needs of a spread-out membership. Plus, having a paid minister was a luxury few churches could afford. The elders, therefore, carried the load for both the administrative and pastoral work back in those settings.

Today, this leadership structure has been rightly and roundly criticized as ineffective. While we still have many small, rural churches that might function okay, most urban or suburban congregations have labored under this model. To be sure, Churches of Christ (along with most denominations) have many other challenges, but an ineffective leadership structure makes it nearly impossible to tackle those other difficult issues.

I, along with many others, am working to change this situation. I believe the problem in our North American churches is not a people problem. We have a leadership problem. Feel free to dialogue with me and others (such as the good folks at the Siburt Institute) to explore this issue more. My article doesn’t explore this further.

Instead, I want to point out something remarkable about many of our church elders. While most of our eldership boards are not adequately equipped to fulfill the many complex tasks of both managing and shepherding churches, the elders in most of our churches today are deeply devout individuals with amazing spiritual maturity. If we could better design structures that utilize their skills and strengths, our churches would be much healthier.

Here are three things I’ve seen Church of Christ elders do exceptionally well. The poet tells the people of God what to do in the face of unbearable pain:

Sit alone in silence when the Lord has imposed it, to put one’s mouth to the dust (there may yet be hope), to give one’s cheek to the smiter, and be filled with insults. (Lam. 3:28-30)

To be an elder in a Church of Christ today means that you will undoubtedly bear harsh criticism. You will not please everyone. Because of the polarized society in which we live, some decisions today simply have no win-win scenarios. And on top of all this, you as an elder will learn some disappointing things about the people in your church. It’s simply hard to be an elder.

What have I seen many elders do in response to these hardships? 1) Sit in silence. 2) Put their mouths in the dirt. 3) Give their cheeks to the attackers.

I am regularly amazed at how much pain elders take and hold from their congregations. I wish elder meetings were more joy-filled, but there are too many unsolvable problems on their docket (along with a broken system described above). They have little else they can do but sit in silence. With no clear way of fixing things, they listen, share, and lament together.

There are of course exceptions. Some elders talk out of turn to their members. Some react angrily to those who dare to complain. Some convey the message that it is their way or the highway. But those exceptions prove the rule that many Church of Christ elders absorb pain in silence for the sake of their churches.

I confess that my elders are often more skilled at these traits than I am. I think many ministers would concur with this assessment. Senior ministers like myself eat, drink, and think church 24/7. We are always pushing, always trying new things, and always looking for ways to grab hold of God’s life-giving mission. As a result, we sometimes lack patience with those who throw up roadblocks or question our motives.

As a minister, I need a team of people around me who are skilled at what the poet describes in Lam. 3:28-30. Our churches need strong shepherds who can sit silently and receive occasional abuse.

To be clear, I wouldn’t want to serve in a role where my main job was to absorb the pain of an organization. Nor do I wish this upon those who serve as elders. It’s my hope that we can have fun together and find life-giving work that allows us all to feel properly utilized in God’s kingdom. But while we experience the dramatic, ongoing changes in our world, our churches must learn how to properly lament. Unleashed to lead us in these directions, many elders – once freed from the burden of having to “fix it” for their churches – should be able to lead their churches through healthy, faith-filled grief.

Until churches can make it through the wilderness and arrive at a new place of Spirit-filled mission, then we need those who can help us lament the pain and loss of what we are experiencing. For this reason (and others), I am thankful for elders who, with their sacrificial service, can point us toward the teaching of Jesus, “If any want to come after me, let them deny themselves, take up their cross and follow me” (Mark 8:34).