When the Cold Sets In
I have had multiple opportunities to sit down and speak with someone who desperately wants to grow in her faith but who feels like she is going backward instead of forward. Sometimes it is a result of the natural process of developing one’s own faith, of asking questions and having to stand on one’s own feet for the first time. However, it is such a common experience that I believe it merits our pausing to consider this feeling because it can also indicate something else. There is an image that I believe is helpful here: warmth.
Unlike those of you from colder regions who see your fair share of cold each winter, we are thrilled when our warm southern town receives not only freezing temperatures but a day or two of snow. When our kids were young, we would trek across snow-packed roads with our neighbors to our favorite sledding hill. Children and parents alike played outside to their heart’s content, only leaving when their toes were tingling from the cold. We knew that this was a rare occasion, and we wanted to make the most of it. Inevitably, once everyone had changed into dry clothes and warmed themselves, our children would not want to return outside again. When I asked them why, they said it was too cold. Once they had experienced warmth, they refused to return to the winter wonderland waiting for them outside.
This image of warmth and coldness appears in Ruth Haley Barton’s Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation (IVP, 2022), a book that I love. It is a great primer on how to develop spiritual disciplines, and some of what she has to say could be especially helpful as people are trying to develop and improve their quiet time as the year winds down and we look ahead to 2024. One of the issues she addresses is dissatisfaction with prayer life. Barton compares someone in this state to a rootbound plant, searching for nutrients (p. 63). She believes coldness in one’s prayer life might signify a major transition: it could indicate a need for greater intimacy. It’s the point when external signs such as words, images, or even structured prayer no longer satisfy. Instead, we have changed, and our desire is simply to be with God. When we have reached this place, we no longer get caught up on “getting it right” and our own human activity. Rather, we focus solely on Him (pp. 64-65).
There are times when we should be content in our relationship and rest in God. One great example of this is the sentiment shared in the familiar words of Psalm 23. However, holy dissatisfaction can also be a driving force. In Exodus 33:12-23, after Moses has worked with God for an extended period of time, he has an overwhelming desire to know God better. Moses says, “You have been telling me, ‘Lead these people,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me.’ If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people” (Exodus 33:12-13, NIV). This desire to know God, to see His face, to feel His presence, and be dissatisfied with where we currently are is a good and positive thing.
When we feel that coldness, or when our current spiritual practices no longer satisfy, it can be scary. However, as Barton suggests, perhaps we have gotten a hint of the warmth radiating from God as we have drawn closer to Him—and we cannot get enough. If you are in this place, or if you are working with someone who is in this place, try out new things and continue to develop your faith. Don’t be satisfied. Instead, fill your hunger for God rather than worrying about whether you are doing it right or if it’s normal to feel this way. Do not forget the promise in Matthew 7:8: “For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” When we feel things have gone cold, perhaps it is because we know what warmth feels like. God will always make a way for us to return and bask in His presence.
