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Joy in the Mourning

This article is featured in our Chaplaincy Newsletter, Tapestry, which curates reflections on Christian chaplaincy in the marketplace of contexts such as hospitals, military, hospice, and prisons. Like threads of a wall tapestry, each colorful but alone, the offerings in our newsletter weave together to form a tapestry more beautiful than the sum of its parts.


James 1:1-4  “Consider it PURE JOY whenever you face trials of many kinds…”

What?! I didn’t have time for personal growth when I became a caregiver for my mother, who was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia. My dad died unexpectedly, decisions had to be made quickly, and I experienced a sense of loss when this event created a season of mourning in our lives. My thoughts, feelings, and behaviors became distorted by images of fear and doubt when I asked the question, “How will I get through this?”

My mom, named Joy, was a twin sister to Jolly. Like their names, they lived with positive personalities, but each responded differently to life’s challenges. It always intrigued me how my mom could live a “joyful” life despite the many hardships she had endured. How could she live with such confidence in a better tomorrow and help others experience that same hope…continually? My search led me to reflect on her life, which I called “Joy’s Journey.”   

Joy is not a word associated with hardship, yet scripture says, “rejoice always” and “the fruit of the Spirit is …joy”. I thought I was going to discover a secret about her; instead, I discovered another aspect of Jesus because of her. I discovered that PURE Joy is not a feeling or a mood, a choice or perspective. PURE joy…COMPLETE Joy…ALL Joy (depends on translation) is a companionship that is not contaminated, distorted, or altered by the messages of this world or any circumstance. I discovered a simple acronym to remind me that PURE Joy is a companion, not a feeling. “It’s all Jesus”, my mom would say, and that became “Jesus On You.” It is not a feeling to consider; it is Jesus to consider. My mother’s companionship with Jesus was in every relationship; I discovered that Joy (like my mother) is a companion to every circumstance.

PURE JOY comes from inspiration all around—people, songs, cards, and words of affirmation showed me Jesus as a companion on my path. Songwriters Christopher Joel Brown, Steven Furtick, and Tauren Wells (whom I may never meet) helped me see that “there will be joy in the morning; If it's not good, then He's not done; No, He's not done with it yet.” My trial of this kind was a chapter in my life—a walk in progress, not only for me but also for my mother. It wasn’t about happy feelings along the way; it was about who we are along the journey… spiritual beings in a physical existence. I had the companionship of the Trinity, but I couldn’t see it when I only looked through a limited, physical world view. Insignificant me had the companionship of the Creator of all things new, the Comforter of all heartache, and the Redeemer of all circumstance.   

Thank you for showing up either professionally or personally when people ask, “How will I get through this. When trials of many kinds create a sense of loss, and move us into a season of mourning, we have opportunities to see that experience as a moment in the middle, much like Jesus’ suffering on earth was a moment in the middle of a Grand Plan. The Trinity put on flesh through Jesus’s birth, and when you show up as Jesus On You, that moment becomes an uncontaminated image, purely the companionship of Jesus. When you paint a portrait with His voice, His hand, and His comfort of any kind, you help answer the question, “How will I get through this?” Thank you for being JOY—Jesus On You.